Grandparenting Following Your Child’s Divorce


Grandparents are often placed in precarious positions following the divorce of their child. To use a favorite idiom, they are “caught between a rock and a hard place.” As they attempt to guide their son or daughter through the anxiety and tension caused by divorce, they are confused about what they can do to help their innocent grandchildren adjust.

Every couple and every divorce situation is different. So are the lovely grandchildren who are involved in the transition process. Because of this, there is no easy solution, however, here are a few tips from an experienced San Antonio divorce attorney for entering into this uncharted territory.

If you have been an uninvolved grandparent previously, now is not the best time to try and establish a bond with the grandkids. There is simply too much emotion, uncertainty, confusion and fear to attempt to develop a new and meaningful relationship with them now. On the other hand, if you have bonded with them prior to the divorce it is important that you let them know you are there for them during this time of turmoil.

This can be an opportunity for you to discuss their fears, frustrations and insecurities with you. As a grandparent, you can easily offer advice from your wealth of experience to comfort them. Most importantly, don’t be judgmental about their parents and offer support and reassurance to your grandchildren. Let them know that you are with them every step of the way and you are always there for them.

However, it is important that you establish certain parameters with the parents of the grandchildren in advance of discussing and advising on certain topics. Having secured their approval of the areas for discussion and the message you want to send, there is no room for them to claim that you are attempting to interfere.

In situations where the emotional and psychological issues have escalated in their complexity, you might want to talk with your son or daughter and ask them to consider seeking professional help from a therapist or psychologist. At this time you can offer suggestions about who to see, articles to read and websites that offer advice and support. Let them know that you are there to support them and help them find whatever help they need.

The bottom line is to let your grandchildren, and their parents, know how much you care for them. This will allow them to realize they can always count on you for love, support and reassurance throughout their life’s journey, whether you are near or far away.

The transition period following divorce is not only confusing for grandchildren and grandparents. It can also be a time when a party to a divorce needs to modify existing spousal support, child support and visitation issues. Whatever your family law needs are, you need to seek advice from a Bexar County divorce attorney with a proven track record of success.

The Law Offices of Allan R. Manka, P.C. in San Antonio have more than 60 years of combined experience handling a wide variety of family law matter for thousands of Texans. We proudly serve clients in San Antonio and the surrounding areas, including Bexar County, New Braunfels, Seguin, and Pleasanton.

Contact us online or call us direct at (210) 824-1800 for a free confidential consultation. You can also reach us 24 hours a day, seven days a week, at (866) 621-7085 toll free.

We take all major credit cards, debit cards and have reasonable payment plans.

Other Resources:

How Grandparents Can Help Grandchildren Adjust To The Challenges Of Divorce , The Huffington Post, Article by Rosalind Sedacca, January 10, 2013

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